I disappear sometimes. Not just because I like to remind people I can't always be there for them—it's just there are moments when I want to feel everything on my own. There are times when I want to be alone so I'll get used to it.
I think people easily get drunk on the idea that some will always be there when they need them. But in the grand scheme of things, we're all just trying to get through our own ****. We all have days when everything falls apart and there's no one to turn to—you just have to get used to depending on yourself.
I disappear sometimes to grow. To patch myself up. To get used to getting up on my own, and in a way, to let other people know I can't always be there for them even if I want to—because some days are just so heavy I need to be selfish and save myself first.
—jmp